Ranting Thursdays: Sometimes People Need Their A**es Kicked

Warning, long Zumba rant, but I think it will be kind of funny. 

Previously, I have mentioned that there is a little clique BS going on in my Monday class. Basically, one or two girls will arrive to class 15 – 20 minutes early and will save MULTIPLE spaces for their other friends. For me, it not a big deal to save one spot for someone else, but to save 5-6 spots?!!! Since I know how these b*tches roll, I tend to arrive to this class a little early, so I can get a decent spot. Last week, I noticed that many of these women arrived EXTRA, EXTRA early to save spots. Even one of them said, I do not care if the class is full, I’m coming anyway. We have to sign up for classes either using the Crunch Gym app, 22hrs – 1hrs before the class, or in the gym 30 min before the class. Ok, no biggie. For this week, I decided to attend the ASS and ABS class, which is from 6:30 PM – 7:00 PM. Perfect, the ASS and ABS class ends 30 minutes before Zumba starts and both classes are in the same studio. Great, there should be no issue with me getting a decent spot that I like, since I’m 30 minutes early.

One participant (we’ll call her LHBB) arrived at 7:15 and started to mark her territory for her gang in front of me. I did not really care, because I had my spot. I call them a gang because they go to the Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday classes that are taught by this particular instructor (and I think they brunch together after the Sat. class). Surprisingly, we actually chatted a little bit, because she said that she wanted to make sure there was enough space for us. I jokingly said that’s a good thing and that I never know if I’m inside or outside of the row formation. At around 7:27 (three minutes before class starts), one of her gang members (CDWaDC) asked me if the spot in front of me was taken. I said yes, I think that is your friend’s (LHBB) spot, but I do not know where she went. LHBB bitch comes back to the spot and asks if I could move back. I told her a very firm no. Basically, she wanted to squeeze between CDWaDC and myself, which was stupid because there would not have been enough space. Plus, there were other people behind me, so I could not move back. Also, I have seen other members of their gang “politely” ask people to move so the gang will be accommodated. *Not tonight with Dr. KOS, girlfriend.* Then, LHBB tells CDWaDC that I was being “difficult”. How am I being difficult? I arrived early to class to get my spot. I followed the rules for reserving the class and my spot. The funny thing is that there was enough space to my left. Yes, I could have moved to the left. But, why should I?

• I got to class early.
• I like to be closer to the center, so I can see the instructor better.
• What gives LHBB the right to have a particular spot when she arrived after I did?

Since I am a man, I really do not like verbally going back and forth with women (not that I don’t or won’t) – it is not really my style.

This is not because they are women, per se, but there are certain negative perceptions that are associated with a man going off on a woman . . . especially with a black man going off on a white woman. I’m trying not to be tagged as ABM (angry black man).

Man this has gotten really long.

Some options:

• Dance really big by making extra and over exaggerated dance moves, so no one will want to dance around me.
• Purposely fuck up moves, so I’ll bump into people. You know, cha cha left when everyone else cha chas right.
• Mark my territory, by shitting in the location where I want to dance.

After class (damn this could have been two entries), I guess she was “telling” on me to some of her other gang members. I hope they will not do a drive by on me next week. Instead of bullets, they probably would throw things from the BB starter pack.

I did notice that another gang member (RGDBB) was talking to the instructor and gesturing in my direction.

Why don’t you take another damn class, Dr. KOS?

I looked into other Crunch fitness Zumba classes and based on my location and time, this one only works. Actually, there is one taught on Wednesday, but that will not work:

1. It’s taught by the same instructor, so the same gang is in that class.
2. Wednesday is date night with the BF.

After that class, I considered going back to my former class in Brooklyn (Tuesday, 7:30). That would be too much work commuting from the UWS to Brooklyn, then back to Harlem after class.

Victim complex:

I noticed that “certain type” of women start shit storms and play victim when there are covered in the shit. You know, they ones who throw stones and hide their hands. .

Many women in my family has expressed this sentiment in their professional lives, but they have to tread lightly when dealing with it because they will come off as “aggressive”, “angry”, “uncooperative”, etc. I will leave it at that.

Friendly Rant:

Often I am asked for ID when buying cigarettes. It’s kind of annoying that when cashiers are like you 22 years old, after looking at my ID. Ummmmm, if I look 22 years old then why are you carding me, since the legal age to buy smokes is 18? I guess that I can take it as a compliment.